How to develop patience: tips for parents

If parents had an official job description, patience would probably be at the top of it. It is hard enough being patient ourselves, let alone teaching it to our children. Here are some ideas we hope you find useful.

1. Don’t give in to unreasonable demands

When your child asks for yet another hour on a device, a sweet snack before dinner or TV instead of their chores, resist the urge to give in. It is hard when you are tired after a long day at work, but every time you delay their gratification, you are teaching patience.

2. Even when it’s a tantrum

Never give your child what they want just because they throw a tantrum. Help them calm down first, before they get what they asked for, or you will be reinforcing the wrong behaviour.

3. Point out patience

Take every chance to point out what came from your child’s patience, or the lack of it, and reflect it back without judgement. “You waited patiently for your turn, and now you are playing so happily!”

4. Don’t interrupt

Unless it is an emergency, children should not be allowed to interrupt you mid-sentence. Saying calmly, “I’m talking to your uncle right now. I’ll be with you when we’ve finished,” teaches your child the importance of patience as well as respect.

5. Patience through play

Games where everyone has to wait for their turn are a great way to teach patience.

6. Take it slow

Instead of dashing to help the moment your child asks for something, take your time. If you are in the middle of something else, finish it first. Avoid giving instant gratification.

7. You are the example

If you get stressed or lose your temper every time life gets hard, you can be sure your child will soon be doing the same. And if your child sees you waiting patiently for something you really want, they are far more likely to copy that too.